"Holy Smokes"

Sometimes we try to accomplish goals. We think we have an idea of what we want, and an idea of how to get it-oftentimes we don't.
This old guy thought he was gonna do something sweet, and in his doing so he, caused an explosion, a mess, experienced at least some measure of pain, and as wrong as it may be, a lot of laughter for those of us who were able to watch him experiment.
I'm not sure if he ever attempted to rectify his 'experiment gone wrong' or not, but I would hope that if he did, his next attempt at creating a homemade sparkler was more successful.

All he wanted to do was "experiment[ing] with fireworks for Halloween". He used some sulfur and potassium magnesium, and thought he would create a fun sparkler for the holidays.
Boy did that go wrong....
All started well, and all ended up with a boom and an exclamation of "Holy Smokes!".


Oftentimes, we, as human beings, strive for things we believe are good. We desire what we believe to be true and pure. However, we often fail to remember that much thought and work need to go into the accomplishment of such desired things. Too many times have I believed in something, yet failed to research it enough, failed to analyze the whole situation, failed to completely think through the necessary course of action, and failed to execute properly the actions required to bring to fruition this dream of mine.

Of course a somewhat morbid video of a man's Halloween "sparkler" blowing up in his face is not sufficient enough to prove my point in it's entirety, however it does show on a small scale that we cannot always have things go our way. Things will go awry. They are always and incessantly going awry. The man definitely did not intend to have a concoction of sulfur and potassium magnesium explode in his face, but he was learning how to, in correct proportion, create this sparkler. It seems to take a few explosions before we learn what we need to know. A few burnt eyebrows and nose-hairs. A few 'wasted' dollars. A few severed friendships. A few mishaps here and there are inevitably going to come our way as we strive to learn, to grow, to achieve what we long for.

Sometimes, unfortunately only rarely, our mishaps alter our path along the quest for 'truth' and in doing so direct us to the right direction. The steer us towards a heading we would never otherwise have come across. Take the steps laid out ahead of you. Follow your dreams with eyes that see the dangers that are coming your way, and with a conscious that reminds you that all things are relative to the beauty of truth.

Philosophy

I am reading Consolation of Philosophy, by Boethius, for an ancient western civilization class I am taking, and am challenged to think about philosophy. What exactly to think about, I am unsure, but to think I am positive.

I read about Boethius' dialogues with Philosophy herself, and I wonder to myself and the few friends who are with me at Saxby's, if it would not be beneficial to for a time refrain from studying the philosophy of others, and focus all of my concentration of creating a philosophy for myself. A philosophy formed out of what I see, what I experience, what I understand, what I find true and pure, what I find myself disgusted with, what I find beautiful, and what I find simply overwhelming.

I can't help but to wonder if that philosophy, assuming it can be formed without being fed into by previous philosophies, would be transformational to myself, and my spheres of influence.

I don't think it right to denounce prior philosophers and their works, and I don't think it appropriate to deny the studying of their thoughts. There is surely value to be found.

I only desire to hope that if I create a philosophy out of my experiences and my relationships, that it will differ from that of anyone else' and that if it differ, it might be beneficial in ways unseen. That if it be beneficial in ways previously unseen, that it may inspire others. That if it inspires others, and is beneficial in more ways, that more good may come to this smoldering world.


I can only hope for something different than what I've known, for what I've known has not been enough to keep me content.





As I continue to wander, searching for what's good and true, I hope and pray I don't get lost in fog.

Writing a book.

I think I want to write a book. Seriously.

I’ve talked about it before, and thought it about it a plethora of times, but I seriously think I want to. The more I read, the more drawn I am to the idea of writing, and to the concept of reconstructing my cognitive caverns.

I view the world differently. I see things through a lens I cannot find elsewhere. I find tidbits of “Nate’s ‘worldview’” all over the place, but no tidbit is a complete image. I want to share how I see things and how I think about things. I want to put my opinions, and beliefs out of the table for people to criticize, to destroy and to challenge. I suppose they could also agree with me on something here and there.

Every time I think of writing something with the idea of publishing in mind, I get afraid.
I’m afraid that what I complete will not be sophisticated. That it won’t be educated enough. That it won’t be substantiated. That it won’t be reputable, coming from a 20 year old hooligan. I’m afraid that, if it somehow, miraculously, does get published, people will judge me. People will write me off as being ‘this’ or ‘that’, and I would hate for that to happen. I think I would write with the ambition of having my ideas refined. I would want people to write to me with there angry comments, and with their encouragements.

I am also afraid of being known.

I do not want people to know me. I do not want to be recognized, or god forbid “famous”. I want to slip below the radar because if I am known, I will have the challenge of keeping my focus on a micro level. When fame hits, it draws attention to grand issues, and grand topics. I prefer to keep my roots on a micro level. I want to stay grounded with a few people, not a ton, and I want to keep my attention on the issues at hand, hopefully small ones.
I guess it wouldn’t be terrible to be able to work on grand issues, but I don’t want my focus to shift from a micro level to a macro level

I am afraid of losing who I am in helping other people grow into who they are meant to be.